Not sure how to gather? Look to the [graduate] students

“Loneliness Epidemic” and the Podcast Windfall that Followed

Earlier this month (February 3, 2026), Ezra Klein released the latest interview for his podcast show, creatively named, the Ezra Klein Show. He interviewed Priya Parker, author of “The Art of Gathering”, and strategic advisor to the Zohran Mamdani campaign. No surprise, they had plenty to talk about. Their conversation spanned no fewer than five major social topics, all of which could be, and have been, the subject of entire books (within the interview Parker cites roughly 12 different tomes, not including her own, each of which serve as a unique conversational springboard). 

Since 2023, when Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, declared a loneliness epidemic, podcasters and professional thinkers like Klein have leapt at the opportunity to join the conversation. We have cast back to Robert Putnam’s 2000 book, “Bowling Alone”, and chided ourselves on missing the writing on the wall (podcasters also rushed to interview him). We have rushed to quantify this loneliness in an effort to fix it. Blame has been cast on church attendance declining, screen use increasing, algorithmic slop and the pandemic wrenching apart our social fabric. “Analog” time and activity is making a comeback in all aspects of life in a time of blue light and doomscrolling.

Cue: Priya Parker on the Ezra Klein show.

Throughout listening to their conversation, I was struck by the repetitive nature of Klein’s questions. He asked various iterations of the core inquiry: “how should we gather?” He wanted to know where to start. Then, much like in the aftermath of a scientific presentation, he asked a bunch of “what ifs”. Okay so you throw a dinner party. What if your place isn’t clean enough? What if your friends have kids and want to bring them? What if you like to be in bed by 9:30pm? What if nobody wants to go?

Not only do these questions fail to advance the conversation (though in the grand scheme the interview was rich in content), they fail to get over their own self-doubt. Parker’s takeaway is clear and simple: do what you want, just do it together.

But for listeners like Klein, who may still be stuck in a death spiral of personal doubt (in addition to noting the plethora of anecdotes and examples from Parker), I would suggest they look to the graduate students.

The Kids are Alright

Within this epidemic of loneliness, young adults have been a key focal point of study. The implications of screen time and social media are yet to be fully understood, and while long term studies are fewer and futher between, it is easy to intuitively believe that a student spending 8 hours a day on their phone at a critical stage of brain development probably isn’t a good thing.

But young people in society have always been placed under the microscope in times of rapid change. In fact, according to a study by Harvard Graduate School (Making Caring Common, 2024), the reported “loneliest” age group was those aged 30-44 (29%), as compared to 24% of 18-24 year olds and 20% for 40-65 year olds.

The purpose of this writing is not to belabor the statistics, though for that you have plenty of resources on various higher education websites, blogs, popular news sources, data hubs, and editorials, as well as academic journals, to name a few. I, instead, wanted to take time to write about my constant source of inspiration for gathering and community building: other students.

Ezra Klein asked (in various forms) how do we gather? I say, look to the students.

The graduate student communities I have been a part of have all been post-COVID. Departments have lamented the loss of community fabric, citing mass attendance at pre-COVID events, weekly coffee breaks, lunches, and thriving seminars. This “good old days” mindset has clouded the powerful story being told by the students in these departments currently, and undervalues the hard work of those who straddled the transition from lockdown to liberation. That story is one of community investment, passion, and balance.

Students who entered departments during lockdown were forced into a challenging scenario: start graduate school, one of the most difficult academic pursuits, and do it without access to in-person resources. Also, listen to folks complain about what used to be. 

These students largely rose to the occasion. Despite the challenges of starting graduate school in isolation, students came out of lockdown with the determination to reestablish thriving communities that welcomed everyone. Universities around the world contended with the intentional discrimination against people of color, as highlighted by the Black Lives Matter movement, and students, like many have before them, chose to act.

So what does gathering look like for these students? 

I receive weekly emails from our Graduate Student Association about coffee hours, community dog walks, movie nights, and trips “to the snow” (to just name a few from this week). To walk around a college campus is to open yourself up to extensive advertising (stapled to newsboards the good old fashioned way) from various student groups and organizations. As anyone who has attended a college tour can tell you, schools are proud of their niche clubs and quirky groups – it represents the seeming contradiction that seems to sit at the root of gathering: a display of the unique individualism that draws together a group of similarly unique individuals.

I became a student in graduate school in a new, notoriously isolating, city, in which I knew no one. Yet I found myself in a community that despite the epidemic of loneliness, increasing social division and mounting despair in the wake of a pandemic and in the shadow of national upheaval, continued to gather. 

In case anyone like Klein wants some excuses to get together, for the graduate students, some gatherings have taken the form of: craft/game night(s), pasta making (if you don’t mind covering your apartment in flour), tea on the porch in the rain, group work from a coffee shop, playing cards at the bar, dog playdates or, my personal favorite: “hang out while I pack”. From informal weekly dinner to elaborate Friendsgivings (would recommend knowing someone who feels passionate about baking an entire turkey in your tiny apartment oven), you don’t really need an excuse to gather, just some people willing to occupy the same space for a little while. 

Additional References:

Making Caring Common (2024). Loneliness in America: Just the Tip of the Iceberg?https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america-2024